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Take A Stand Against Bullying

 

I have decided to stick with love. Hate is too great a burden to bear. – Dr. Martin Luther King, Jr.

October is National Bullying Prevention Month. It’s not exactly the topic we would like to address but until this problem goes away, we are obligated to do so. It’s up to all of us to be aware, speak up, and do what we can to end it.

Read most any survey or story and you will discover that the problem of bullying is not going away. Through our research we discovered some alarming statistics:

  • 96% of American employees experience bullying in the workplace
  • The percentage of bullies who have been after a specific target for a minimum of one year: 89%
  • 54% of bullies have been bullying for more than five years
  • 62% saw sabotaging of others’ work or reputations as the primary form of bullying in the workplace
  • 51% of employees say their company has a policy for dealing with bullies, but only 7% who are aware of a policy against bullying know of anyone who has ever used it
  • Bosses make up the majority of bullies

As we read statistics like these, we realize that there is much work to be done in order to end it. Let’s first think about where bullying stems from.

In the animal kingdom, there is a constant struggle to determine the Alpha of the group. This position usually goes to the biggest, the strongest, and the healthiest. The purpose of the Alpha in the animal kingdom is to lead and protect the group. In our modern society, we still need leaders, but the leaders no longer need to be the biggest or strongest. We now follow those who are wise, those who inspire us, and those who we trust Click To Tweet. Many individuals long for the power and control that they believe being seen as a leader will provide them. Yet, they lack the characteristics that compel others to follow them willingly. These individuals resort to bullying in order to build themselves up in their own minds and intimidate others into following them.

Our objective here is to lend our voices in raising awareness in hopes that you will come away more informed, and if the victim of bullying to be empowered to take your stand against it. So where do you begin?

Acknowledge it

Many in the workplace tolerate bullying without realizing what it is. Click To Tweet Too often, workers pass off bad actions and behaviors from bosses, or others, as that person just being that person. So rather than call it what it is, and not wanting to “rock the boat”, many suffer quietly while bullying goes unchallenged and unchecked. The time is now to stop suffering in silence and for those bad behaviors to stop.

Address it

It’s simply not enough to recognize bullying when you see it or experience it. You must be courageous enough to address it. This can be beneficial not only to you but for the person doing the bullying as well. In the research, we cited it went on the say, “One of the issues of workplace bullying is that the bully doesn’t actually know how they are being perceived”. The bully may not recognize that his or her actions are bullying and when confronted will stop. If not, then address the issue head-on and the bully will know that you are not going to tolerate it.

Abstain from it

You do not have to participate in bullying; this type of behavior does not benefit anyone. Click To Tweet If you have the desire to be a leader, start sowing the seeds of empathy, trust, and respect. Leadership is built on relationships, not fear. Being part of the ‘in’ crowd is not worth devaluing the worth of yourself or others by participating in bullying behaviors.

Advocate against it

Now that you are aware of it, become part of the solution. Bullies only gain power when others participate either through the support of their unacceptable behavior or fear and dread of their words and actions. You have the power to stand up and advocate against bullying. Click To Tweet When we refuse to accept bullying behavior regardless of who is bullying and who is being bullied we take away the bully’s capacity to gain power and control at the expense of others.

We no longer live like animals. We do not need an Alpha to take control by brute force. What we need are leaders. Leaders who support instead of sabotage; influence instead of force; and earn respect instead of despising. Every one of us has the ability to take a stand against bullying; to acknowledge it, to address it, to abstain from it, and to advocate against it. If not now, when? If not you, who?

©2018 Doug Dickerson and Liz Stincelli  

 

Resources:

  1. Stop Bullying.Gov
  2. Workplace Bullying Institute
  3. Facts About School Bullies and Bullying Behaviors

 

 

Why Indecisive Leaders Hurt Morale

Courtesy: Google Images

Indecision may or may not be my problem – Jimmy Buffett

A story is told of former president Ronald Reagan once had an aunt who took him to a cobbler for a pair of new shoes. The cobbler asked young Reagan, “Do you want square toes or round toes?” Unable to decide, Reagan didn’t answer, so the cobbler gave him a few days.

Several days later the cobbler saw Reagan on the street and asked him again what kind of toes he wanted on his shoes. Reagan still couldn’t decide, so the shoemaker replied, “Well, come by in a couple of days. Your shoes will be ready.” When the future president did so, he found one square-toed and one round-toed shoe! “This will teach you to never let people make decisions for you,” the cobbler said to his indecisive customer. “I learned right then and there,” Reagan said later, “if you don’t make your own decisions, someone else will.”

Indecisive leadership is a crippling character trait for leaders. When your organization needs clear direction and decisive action, a waffling leader can cause more harm than good. Click To Tweet

With so much at stake, why do leaders waffle and struggle with decision making? Three primary reasons come to mind.

They lack clarity

Leaders who struggle with decision making may lack the necessary clarity needed to make the necessary decision. Rather than making the wrong decision, they make no decision at all.

They lack confidence

In some situations, leaders withhold decision making because they are not confident enough in their own instincts. Rather than take a risk and make a decision, they play it safe and everyone is left dangling.

They lack consensus

In some cases, leaders withhold decision making because they don’t have a consensus on the best path forward. Rather than offend a few with a decision, the leader demoralizes everyone by not making one.

So what is a leader to do? How can a leader overcome this agonizing dilemma? Here are a few ideas.

Trust your instincts

A confident leader will trust his or her instincts in times of decision. Deep down you have a strong intuition that guides you. Trust it.

Welcome input

Decisive leaders are informed leaders. Those most affected by your decisions should be the first at the table of discussion. As it’s been said, “the person who sweeps the floor should choose the broom”. Welcome input, but make your decisions on principle, not politics.

Clarify your values

The worst thing you can do as a leader is to make a decision for the sake of making one. Roy Disney was right when he said, “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier”. When making a decision make sure it aligns with your values. If not, don’t do it. Click To Tweet

Check your motives

First and foremost in your decision making should be what’s best for your organization and people. If you are making decisions to gain popularity or to gain favor with some to the detriment of others you are sowing the seeds of low morale. You must have the best interest of the team at heart and not just a few.

Leadership is about making hard decisions. Indecisive leaders make it harder--on themselves and those they lead. Click To Tweet Your path forward begins by acknowledging what your indecisive tendencies are doing to your leadership and how it’s impacting the morale of those you lead.

 

©2018 Doug Dickerson

My Week in Costa Rica

Our amazing team at one of the local schools.
Our amazing team at one of the local schools.

Lose yourself in generous service and every day can be a most unusual day, a triumphant day, an abundantly rewarding day! – William Arthur Ward

I had the joy and privilege of spending the past week in Costa Rica. I led a team of some of the most amazing people to work with Give A Book that my brother, Carl, has operated there for nearly 20 years.

Our team, though small in number by design, was comprised of people from all walks of life including some special friends from Canada.

We had the opportunity to go into six schools to distribute books, love on the children, and see the world through their eyes. And what a beautiful world it is.

The children were so proud to get new books.
The children were so proud to get new books.
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Team members reading and interacting with the children in their classrooms.
Playing with the children at one of the schools.
Playing with the children at one of the schools.

The children, teachers, and workers in the schools were so appreciative of the books and welcomed us like heroes. Give a Book has also formed great partnerships with Peace Corp volunteers to assist in the efforts in the local schools. The Rotary Club has long been a supporter of the foundation’s literacy initiatives.

It was Jacqueline Kennedy Onassis who said, “There are many little ways to enlarge your child’s world. Love of books is the best of all.” And that is the driving force behind the work of Give a Book. Instilling a love of reading and literacy over the past twenty years has enlarged the lives of countless children and has helped hundreds of schools.

The smile on this little girls face says it all.
The smile on this little girls face says it all.
Yes, they love to be in selfies!
Yes, they love to be in selfies!

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The experience with Give a Book is quite unique. Each trip is customized to not only meet the objective of the organization but to place you in a specific region of the country where you’d like work. That can be in the Central Valley region, along the coast, or out in more remote locations including the Rain Forest.

In addition to being involved in the schools there is the special opportunity to be immersed in the local culture that most people never see.

Then of course there is the opportunity to take in the most spectacular sights and scenery you can feast your eyes upon. From the Poas volcano, Doka Coffe Estate, the La Paz Waterfall Gardens, etc. this beautiful country will capture your heart.

At the Poas Volcano.
At the Poas Volcano.
Waterfall at the LaPaz Waterfall Gardens
Waterfall at the LaPaz Waterfall Gardens
Our team at the La Paz Waterfall Garden.
Our team at the La Paz Waterfall Garden.

My week in Costa Rica was amazing. It was not my first trip there and it won’t be my last. I am planning more.

 

 

 

 

 

Team members working in the warehouse of the Give a Book Foundation.
Team members working in the warehouse of the Give a Book Foundation.

If you are as passionate about books and literacy as I am and would be interested in being on a team with me in the future let me know. I’d love to take you. Of course, you can work directly with Carl as well.

For now, let me encourage you to visit the websites of Give a Book and the incredible work they do.

Visit their Facebook page at: https://www.facebook.com/GiveABookToChildren/

On the web at: http://www.give-a-book.net/

If you’d be interested in joining me on a trip in the future email me at: [email protected]

To reach out to Carl about a trip for your organization email him at: [email protected]

With my brother, Carl. His heart for the children of Costa Rica and his literacy work there is truly inspiring.
With my brother, Carl, (left). His heart for the children of Costa Rica and his literacy work there is truly inspiring.

 

 

Leadership Essentials: Communicating with Clarity

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The most important thing in communication is hearing what isn’t said.   – Peter Drucker

A worker asked for a pay raise and got this note back from his supervisor: “Because of the fluctuation predisposition of your position’s productive capacity as juxtaposed to standard norms, it would be momentarily injudicious to advocate your requested increment.” The puzzled worker went to the supervisor and said, “Is this is about my pay raise I don’t get?” “That’s right,” said the supervisor.

As a leader one of the most important skills you will develop is communication. Unfortunately, it’s becoming one of the hardest skills to develop. The reasons for this vary. On the bright side, technology has increased our ability to communicate like never before. On the down side, conversational and social skills have waned because we prefer to text or send an email- thus avoiding actual human interaction.

Communicating with clarity is important for you as a leader. Those you lead don’t need to be like the man in the story above trying to figure out what you are saying. Here are a few simple guidelines to keep in mind going forward.

Keep it simple

Avoid as much as possible all the fancy corporate jargon. Keep it simple. Your goal here is not to impress people with your vocabulary but to inspire your team with your words and actions.

Keep it pithy

Don’t waste your people’s time with never ending meetings and chasing proverbial rabbits. The longer things drag out the more your people tune out. Have an objective, stick to it, and get going.

Be transparent

Nothing will endear your people to you more than to by being open and honest about where you are personally, where things are as an organization, and by reminding your people of the vision and the role they play in fulfilling it.

Be inclusive

Clarity is essential throughout your organization. As the leader you need to make sure everyone knows your heart and that you have their backs, and that they have all the knowledge and information they need to be successful.

Know when to speak, and speak on purpose

When communicating with your people it is important that you have a reason and purpose behind it. What you say and how you say it is important. What a team members “hears” and interprets may be very different from said and meant. Before you speak, think it through and put yourself in their shoes.

Know when to shut up

I’ve saved the most important for last. Clarity comes to us best not when we are speaking but when we are listening. The most powerful communication skill you have is your silence and your open mind. It is when you listen to your people that you have your greatest moments of clarity. Someone once said, “God gave you two ears and one mouth for a reason.” That’s great advice.

Communicating with clarity is essential to your success as a leader. Use these guidelines as starting points and build upon them. Your success as a leader depends upon it.

What tips would you add?

 

© 2016 Doug Dickerson

Three Questions for the Gray Areas of Leadership

greay
Photo Credit: Google Images

I love the gray areas, but I like the gray areas as considered by bright, educated, courageous people. – Alan Furst

A story is told of Lord Halifax, a former foreign secretary of Great Britain, who once shared a railway compartment with two prim-looking spinsters. A few moments before reaching his destination the train passed through a tunnel. In the utter darkness Halifax kissed the back of his hand noisily several times.

When the train drew into the station, he rose, lifted his hat, and in a gentlemanly way said, “May I thank whichever one of you two ladies I am indebted to for the charming incident in the tunnel.” He then beat a hasty retreat, leaving the two ladies glaring at each other.

I can just imagine the reaction of the two ladies when Lord Halifax left the compartment. Do you think they ever figured out that they had both been played? What lingering doubts did they leave with?

As leaders we pride ourselves in our values, mission statements, and principles that we subscribe to personally and professionally. But sooner or later our beliefs and assumptions will be challenged. Gray areas will emerge. What we once thought of in strict black and white terms become clouded. Now what?

Here are three guiding questions worth asking when the answers aren’t so clear.

  1. What does my head say?

When faced with gray areas in your leadership you can use your cognitive skills to walk       through all available options. Not every circumstance you face as a leader is going to have an answer readily available in some employee manual collecting dust on a shelf somewhere. There will be situations thrown at you that you didn’t prepare for nor did you see coming.

The key for you as a leader is to think through the situation and in a level-headed way in order to chart a path forward. One simple way to navigate through the gray area is to ask how your decision will either uphold or take away from your values.

  1. What does my heart say?

Gray areas compel us to think different. We wrestle with the gray areas because intuitively we know that life is not always predictable. Stuff happens. Our cognitive skills are important, but there does come a time we have to think with our hearts. Some situations call for emotional intelligence to find the answers we need.

The key for you as a leader is striking a balance between what you know in your heart and what you know in your head. How do you reconcile the two in gray areas to arrive at the best solution?

  1. What does my history say?

As a leader no doubt you’ve struggled with gray areas. Beliefs that you once thought were “settled” some time ago suddenly resurface and challenge your beliefs today. I’ve been there many times. Your growth as a leader is always evolving. The challenges you faced five, ten, twenty years ago are going to look different from the challenges you face today. And they should.

The key to dealing with gray areas in your leadership is to utilize all three questions in your approach. Welcome gray areas as an opportunity to grow and develop as a leader. In the end; trust your head, trust your heart, and lean on your history. This is where your judgment in dealing with the gray areas has been formed.

 

© 2016 Doug Dickerson

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Leadership Lessons from Pat Summitt

patsummit

“She could have coached any team, any sport, men’s or women’s. It wouldn’t have mattered, because Pat could flat-out coach. I will miss her dearly, and I am honored to call her my friend.” – Peyton Manning

As a native Tennessean and a proud member of Vol Nation, I was deeply saddened by the recent passing of legendary Coach Pat Summitt. Her passing due to Alzheimer’s at the age of 64 was a great loss and it’s hard to put into words how deeply she will be missed.

There is no doubt Pat Summitt made her mark on the game of women’s basketball. For almost 40 years as the head coach she led the Lady Vols to 8 national championships, 31 consecutive NCAA tournaments, and amassed along the way a record of 1,098 wins.

I had the honor of meeting Pat Summitt a few times and she was always gracious and a class act. Her leadership on and off the court was truly inspiring. Her legacy will live on in her players and in the coaches who served alongside of her and through the work of her foundation.

I’d like to share with you a few of my favorite Pat Summitt quotes for your consideration and how they might be a source of inspiration for you.

“It’s harder to stay on top than it is to make the climb. Continue to seek now goals.”

“Success is a project that’s always under construction.”

“Here’s how I am going to beat you. I’m going to outwork you. That’s it. That’s all there is to it.”

“There is always someone better than you. Whatever it is that you for a living, chances are, you will run into a situation in which you are not as talented as the person next to you. That’s when being a competitor can make a difference in your fortunes.”

“Teamwork is what makes common people capable of achieving uncommon results.”

“You can’t always be the most talented person in the room. But you can be the most competitive.”

“If you don’t want responsibility, don’t sit in the big chair. To be successful, you must accept full responsibility.”

“I’m someone who will push you beyond all reasonable limits. Someone who will ask you not to just fulfill your potential but to exceed it. Someone who will expect more from you than you may believe you are capable of.”

“When a player makes a mistake, you always want to put them back in quickly — you don’t just berate them and sit them down with no chance of redemption.”

“Quit? Quit? We keep score in life because it matters. It counts. Too many people opt out and never discover their own abilities, because they fear failure. They don’t understand commitment. When you learn to keep fighting in the face of potential failure, it gives you a larger skill set to do what you want to do.”

When reading her quotes you get a glimpse into what made her not only a great coach but a great mentor, friend, and inspiration to so many.

In honor or her legacy I’d like to encourage my readers who are so inclined in joining me in making a donation to The Pat Summitt Foundation. The foundation works in partnership with the University of Tennessee Medical Center for research in finding a cure for Alzheimer’s. Visit the website at: http://www.patsummitt.org/

 

© 2016 Doug Dickerson

 

 

 

The Measure of Your Worth

 

Credit: Google Images
Credit: Google Images

Try not to become a man of success, but rather try to become a man of value. – Albert Einstein

Perhaps no composer has captured the musical heart and soul of America as did Irving Berlin. In addition to familiar favorites such as “God Bless America” and “Easter Parade,” he wrote, “I’m Dreaming of a White Christmas,” which still ranks as the all-time best-selling musical score. In an interview for the San Diego Union, Don Freemand asked Berlin, “Is there any question you’ve never been asked that you would like someone to ask you?” “Well, yes, there is one,” he replied. “‘What do you think of the many songs you’ve written that didn’t become hits?’ My reply would be that I still think they are wonderful.”

When it comes to the value that is placed upon you as a leader, regardless of the industry you are in, there is a formula for calculating your worth that is possibly being overlooked.

Certain things continually show up in the rubric of work that are measurements of success that people look to in order to prescribe your worth. Fair or not, that tends to be the norm. Performance reviews center around one’s ability to stay on task, how well he/she works with others, meeting specified goals, contributions to the bottom line etc. (all of which are important and are not meant to be diminished here).

Go back to the story for a moment. While Irving Berlin was famous for the songs we all know and love, he was equally as proud of the ones that did not become hits. It serves as a great reminder for us as leaders. Do you think anyone would think less of Berlin as a gifted singer for recording songs that did not make it to the top of the charts? No.

But herein lies the dilemma. There are countless leaders the world over who daily contribute in thousands of different ways to their respective organizations who do not get the recognition, notoriety, and fame like some do. Does that make them any less a leader in their own right? Certainly not!

Allow me to give you a word of encouragement and a few simple reminders of just how valuable you are as a leader and as a person even if you feel like no one sees, no one cares, or if no one is paying attention. I’d like to frame it from an excerpt from Mother Teresa’s “Do It Anyway” poem.

“If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish, ulterior motives.  Be kind anyway.”

Your worth as a leader is not based upon what other people think or say about you. Be kind and find your lane to operate in and don’t allow yourself to be defined by your critics.

“If you are honest and sincere people may deceive you.  Be honest and sincere anyway.”

Your worth as a leader may be underestimated by those who mistake your honesty and character for weakness. It’s not. And when others try to deceive you they will soon learn that lesson the hard way.

“What you spend years creating, others could destroy overnight.  Create anyway.”

Your worth as a leader is found in the value that you add to others. It is also reflective in the value that you bring to your organization. Others may by their actions and attitudes tear down or destroy, but keep building anyway.

“If you find serenity and happiness, some may be jealous.  Be happy anyway.”

Your worth as a leader is found in your ability to lay your head down at night and be at peace with yourself, with others, and with your Creator. The serenity in your heart the happiness on your countenance may make others jealous, but your worth is not measured by their unhappiness. You have happiness in your heart for a reason. Don’t give it up.

“Give the best you have, and it will never be enough.  Give your best anyway.”

Your worth as a leader is not found it what you take but in what you give. Although in the grand scheme of things it may never be deemed enough, give your best anyway. The measure of your worth and your value as a leader is not defined by where others think you’ve come up short but by what’s in your heart. Keep giving your best!

“In the final analysis, it is between you and God.  It was never between you and them anyway.”

Take this one last piece of encouragement to heart. At the end of the day this what you hang your hat on. Be encouraged. Stay strong. Keep serving. You now know who’s keeping score.

 

© 2016 Doug Dickerson

 

Are You an Opportunistic Leader?

opportunity

Your big opportunity may be right where you are now. – Napoleon Hill

In Bits & Pieces a number of years back the story is told of an energetic young man who began work as a clerk in a hardware store. Like many old- time hardware stores, the inventory included thousands of dollars’ worth of items that were obsolete or seldom called for by customers. The young man was smart enough to know that no thriving business could carry such an inventory and still show a healthy profit. He proposed a sale to get rid of the stuff. The owner was reluctant but finally agreed to let him set up a table in the middle of the store and try to sell off a few of the oldest items. Every product was priced at ten cents. The sale was a success and the young fellow got permission to run a second sale. It, too, went over just as well as the first. This gave the young clerk an idea. Why not open a store that would sell only nickel and dime items? He could run the store and his boss could supply the capital.

The young man’s boss was not enthusiastic. “The plan will never work,” he said, “because you can’t find enough items to sell at a nickel and a dime.” The young man was disappointed but eventually went ahead on his own and made a fortune out of the idea. His name was F.W. Woolworth.

Years later his old boss lamented, “As near as I can figure it, every word I used in turning Woolworth down has cost me about a million dollars!”

When thinking of an opportunistic person what mental image comes to mind? For some it’s an image of a person seizing a moment in time to be unscrupulous or devious. But I’d like to frame it from a different perspective.

As a leader with influence you have many opportunities that come your way and not all of them have to do with what you gain. Often it’s about what you can give. Here are five characteristics of opportunistic leaders.

Opportunistic leaders take time to listen

This point might stand in contrast to the “leader” in the organization who is more accustomed to talking and being heard. But opportunistic leaders understand the value of listening to his or her people. The best leaders know that it’s not always about what you have to say that is important but in what you hear. Be an opportunistic leader and tune in to those around you. You might just learn something.

Opportunistic leaders look for ways to serve

Leaders who make their mark on the world do so by finding ways to serve others and causes greater than themselves. This can be done in so many ways and on so many different levels large and small. This opportunistic leader is less concerned about the limelight and simply finds joy in serving others and making their small corner of the world a better place to live. In what ways are you serving those around you?

Opportunistic leaders are always growing

Opportunistic leaders have a healthy appetite for personal growth and development. It’s understood therefore that it won’t happen by chance or without being intentional. What personal growth and development and leadership books are you reading? How about magazines like Success (my favorite) and other resources to help you sharpen your leadership skills? Opportunistic leaders are always striving to be better and make their personal growth and development a priority.

Opportunistic leaders build relationships

A good leader understands the value of relationships and will make building them a priority. An opportunistic leader knows that strong relationships are the foundation of his organization and it contributes to a healthy culture. As good of a benefit as that is; it’s even nicer for your people to know that you care about them as a person and that you see their worth not just for what they do but simply for who they are.

Opportunistic leaders are willing to take risks

Some might argue that risk-taking is throwing caution to the wind, but I beg to differ. Opportunistic leaders realize that this brief moment in time spent on earth is but a vapor and every moment is a gift from God to make a difference. Mark Twain said, “Twenty years from now you will be more disappointed by the things you didn’t do than by the ones you did.” I believe it’s true.

Opportunistic leaders are not in it for themselves. They are looking for ways to leave their mark on the world and to add value to others along the way.

Have you found your next opportunity?

 

©2016 Doug Dickerson