The Power of Your Tribe: Who Belongs In It and Why

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Some people will hear you louder in silence. Those are your tribe- they’ll get you through the tough days and give you something to laugh about on the way. – Nikki Rowe

In one of Shakespeare’s most famous monologues, the Crispen’s Day speech from Henry V, King Henry inspires his soldiers in the face of grim odds with a rousing speech about how the men who fight this battle with him will be forever united as a “band of brothers.” This is a king speaking to peasants, and yet he’s saying that what they are about to go through will unite them all as brothers. 

We don’t always get to choose the battles life throws our way, but we do choose our response. And just as important, we choose the tribe we run with. 

While you may not always have control over the people who surround you in your organization, you do choose your inner circle in life that has a way of completing you. These are the people that walk with you through the good and bad and are there when the dust settles and the smoke clears.

Finding friends and acquaintances is not hard work for the most part, but your tribe is a different breed of people that you discover along the way. Who are they? What are their characteristics?

Charlie “Tremendous” Jones once said, “You will be the same person in five years as you are today except for the people you meet and the books you read.” And to that, I would include those who you make part of your tribe. So let’s find out who belongs in your tribe.

Your tribe sees the best in you and keeps you humble; they see the worst in you and still love you

This characteristic of people in your tribe is so important. And quite frankly, you wouldn’t have much of a tribe without them.

They will be quick to celebrate your accomplishments and wins. And when you feel like you’re invincible they will keep you grounded by not being overly impressed by you. When they see you at your worst they will have your back, speak the truth you need to hear, and will walk patiently with you. 

In your tribe you need loyalty.

With your tribe, you share common values 

While it’s common to have many friends and acquaintances, not all of them will share your values and priorities. It’s not a deal-breaker in terms of friendship, but in your tribe, you need those who share and understand the values that drive you and the priorities that guide you. 

When the bond among your tribe is driven by shared values it provides the clarity that you need. When your people understand the significance of your priorities it keeps everyone focused and accountable. It’s why knowing who belongs in your tribe, and those who don’t, is so important. While many may be impressed with what you’re doing and where you’re going, not all are willing to make the sacrifices and pay the same price as you to go there. Click To Tweet

In your tribe you need purpose.

With your tribe, you travel higher and farther

With a shared mindset and values, your growth potential is multiplied. It’s why each person must find their tribe. You can only travel so far by yourself but can travel higher and farther when part of a tribe of like-minded people.

When you are committed to your personal growth and are surrounded by those who share that passion you position yourself and your tribe for greater opportunities and greater impact. Pick your tribe wisely because with them you can go far, but the wrong tribe will hold you back.

In your tribe you need clarity.

With your tribe, you have greater balance and perspective

As you settle in with your tribe of like-minded people, you begin to develop a certain vibe and develop an understanding that is the product of being in a genuine relationship. Over time, you begin to know one another better, and before too long a comradery forms that Shakespeare wrote about.

One of the great benefits of finding your tribe is that those people bring balance and perspective to your life that you may not have with anyone else. Having a close tribe is a game-changer and one that every leader should seek.

In your tribe you need community.

Final Thoughts

Having a tribe of like-minded people is one of the most consequential things you can have as a leader. But you must be intentional in finding them. When it’s built on loyalty, purpose, clarity, and community you will be part of a powerful community. 

 

©2022 Doug Dickerson

 

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What Millennials Are Teaching Me About Leadership

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“Good habits formed at youth make all the difference”. – Aristotle

He takes to the platform each week in skinny jeans, his shirt is untucked, and he has a shoe collection that would rival that of Imelda Marcos. But this is no ordinary person and it’s not a comedy club on a Friday night. It’s church on Sunday and he is my late 20’s something pastor. Band members are tatted up, some sporting man buns, but all with one thing in common-serving others the best they know how.

That in this stage in my life I would find myself in a church where the majority of the staff are millennials and I am old enough to be their parent, or in some cases their grandparent, is quite surprising even to me. But I am, and I am loving it.

I recently had lunch with my skinny jean-wearing pastor. We talked leadership over pizza and I must admit, I am more encouraged by what I see and hear from Millennials than I have ever been prior.

To be sure, millennials have had their fair share of criticisms leveled against them. Some of it justified, a lot of it not. But as is the case for all of us in leadership, millennials should be given a fair shake as they earn their leadership stripes.

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I don’t presume to speak about all Millennials in all situations, but only to what I personally know, see, and experience on a regular basis. Here is what I am learning from those skinny jean wearing, man bun styling millennials. I think there’s something here for all of us-regardless of our age.

Millennials are teaching me about authenticity

These millennials are setting a great example about being authentic and transparent. It’s quite refreshing to be around people who understand their learning curves and talk openly about their mistakes and flaws, all while pursuing a higher level of excellence. Authentic leadership is hard to come by and way too many opt for wearing a mask. These millennials are teaching me that they care more about being real than they do about false perceptions.

Millennials are teaching me about the value of community

What I am learning from these millennials is that they are all about community and relationships. “Life wasn’t meant to be done alone” is the mantra often repeated. They have tapped into the power of community and discovering that life, just as in leadership, is better when you are part of a community of people who have each other’s backs and that through a community of strong relationships is how we grow. These millennials are teaching me that there is an up-and-coming generation that gets it and works hard to make it happen.

Millennials are teaching me about serving others

One of the bad wraps millennials get is that they are just a bunch of navel-gazing, narcissistic people who are the “entitled” generation. Look around and cherry-pick, and in some cases, you will find it. But the millennials I know take community and servant leadership to a new level. They are invested in their community and are making in-roads in the local schools. Community and civic pride is not the exception, but rather the rule. Millennials are teaching me they realize it’s not all about them, but that true leadership is about serving others.

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Millennials are teaching me the importance of personal growth and development

As my skinny jean wearing pastor and I talked about leadership, we talked about personal growth and development. I was more than impressed by his vast knowledge and familiarity with leading authors, books, and podcasts. He is a student of leadership and works hard to apply it. So does his team. They are taking leadership seriously and are taking advantage of every opportunity to grow.

On the day of his Inaugural Address, a young 43-year-old President John F. Kennedy declared that “the torch has been passed to a new generation of Americans…” It was a time of great uncertainty and many questioned the ability of such a young president to lead our nation with the challenges it faced. But he did.

Millennial leaders are rising to the challenge. They are taking up the torch and mantle of leadership and from my experiences with them, we have reason to be optimistic. Their leadership will be tested. They will not always get it right, nor will we who are older. Our life in leadership is a journey- a marathon, not a dash. But it’s when we sit across from the table, eat pizza, talk, and share life experiences that we find that we really have more in common than we realized. But I draw the line at skinny jeans.

©2017 Doug Dickerson

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Take Your Leader Down From The Pedestal

Holding Up Person On Pedestal

Contrary to what you may think, good executives don’t want to be worshipped. – Howard Behar

Everyone has leaders they respect and admire. I know I do. Along my journey I’ve been privileged to meet some rather interesting people. Included on the list are four U.S. Presidents and other political figures, famous athletes, actors, musicians, and authors. Some had large egos while others came across as more grounded and down to earth. While the trajectory of each person’s career path took them to differing places of fame and work they each embraced their talents and made the most of it.

Within your business or organization are leaders who are striving to make a difference. Some may be succeeding on a grand scale while others are struggling to find their way. So what can you do to help your leader, and yourself, in the process? One of the first things I’d suggest you do is this: take your leader down his or her pedestal. Here’s why.

It’s all about perspective. Let’s examine this from your leader’s perspective. If you are worshipping your leader then he or she has two primary concerns they wrestle with, (1) your motives and (2) your loyalty. If you are worshipping your leader and are always kissing-up to them they will always wonder why. In addition, they tie your loyalty to their tenure and not much more.

Now let’s examine things from a different perspective and look inward. So long as you keep your leader on a pedestal you will have two primary conflicts to wrestle with, (1) freely speaking the truth out of fear of repercussion, and (2) the appearance of misplaced priorities. Each struggle has ramifications and if they are holding you back then your pedestal is your greatest obstacle moving forward.

When you take your leader(s) down from the pedestal it opens up a whole new realm of possibilities. Here’s how you can do it and why it matters.

Embrace their humanity

What most leaders want you to know is that they are surprisingly human. They have the same struggles, concerns, hopes and dreams as everyone else in the office. Just like you, your leader is not perfect and makes mistakes. Instead of being overly critical perhaps you can be a little more forgiving. So long as you idolize your leader because of their position and not as a person then you fail to see what is most important to them. At the end of the day they’d rather not be above you, they would prefer to be beside you.

Welcome authenticity

Once you take your leader(s) down from the pedestal then authenticity and transparency can begin. So long as you look at your leader through rose-colored glasses then it’s hard to move forward in a meaningful way. Open and honest working relationships include the good, the bad, and the ugly. It’s a natural by-product of being human. What makes you an adult is the way you work through the difficult times and come out on the other side with something to celebrate. An authentic leader will respect you more if you idolize them less.

Build community

Once you embrace the humanity of your leader(s) and welcome authenticity then building community is the reward. Most leaders want to build a team of committed and like-minded people who share the same vision and will work passionately to get there. So long as your leader is on a pedestal being idolized, or in a worse-case scenario – feared, then community will suffer. Your collective strengths and weaknesses form a powerful combination of all the skills you need to do great things. But it won’t happen until shoulder to shoulder you are working together in community as a team.

Taking your leader down from the pedestal is not about abolishing lines of authority or diminishing your respect. Ultimately, it’s about how to move out of an “idol” status with your leader to something more beneficial.

What do you say?

 

©2015 Doug Dickerson

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