Do You Have a Winning Attitude?

Credit: Google Images

Your attitude, not your aptitude, determines your altitude. – Zig Ziglar

I read a story once by Michael Hodgin about two Kentucky racing stable owners who had developed a rivalry.

Each spring, they both entered a horse in a local steeplechase. One of them thought that having a professional rider might give his horse an edge in the race, so he hired a hotshot jockey.

Well, the day of the race finally came, and as usual, their horses were leading the race right down to the last fence. But the final fence was too much for both of the horses. Both of them fell, and both riders were thrown. But that didn’t stop the professional jockey. He remounted and easily won the race.

When he got back to the stable, he found the horse owner fuming with rage. The jockey really didn’t understand the owner’s behavior, because he won the race. So the jockey asked, “What’s the matter with you? I won the race, didn’t I?” 

The red-faced owner nodded, “Oh yes, you won the race. But you won it on the wrong horse!”

The determination of the jockey is admirable despite the fact that he made that critical mistake. 

In leadership, you will be regularly challenged by your attitude. It comes with the territory. Sometimes the attitude challenges that we face are the result of our own poor choices. At other times, our attitude is challenged by external forces beyond our control.

In the book Winning The War in Your Mind, Craig Groescel writes, “Our lives are always moving in the direction of our strongest thoughts. What we think shapes who we are.” And this is precisely why our attitudes matter. Our thoughts and attitudes are moving us in a certain direction. The question is: Are you headed in the right direction?

Poor attitude choices can be a detriment to your leadership. Your attitude is basically the thermostat by which your team members adjust. When you are upbeat and positive, others tend to adopt that attitude. The same holds true if it’s negative. So, as a leader, what posture should you take with your attitude? Here are a few simple approaches worth consideration.

Guard your thoughts

This first piece of advice is all about your discipline as a leader. It’s a profoundly simple piece of advice. And it’s a profoundly difficult discipline to master.  But much is riding on the outcome.

I would like for you to think of guarding your thoughts not from a defensive posture, which we’ve all been accustomed to, but from a proactive posture.

When it comes to guarding our thoughts, what does a proactive posture look like? Here are a few examples:

  • Practice gratitude and random acts of kindness
  • Prayer or meditation
  • Volunteer/ serve others
  • Exercise/walks 

When your thoughts and actions are others-centered and when you are intentional about what you choose to watch and listen to, then you are, in a proactive way, guarding your thoughts. You have less time to be self-absorbed and more time to focus on others.

Guard your company

We don’t always control what happens to us, but we do control how we will respond. This is crucial to understand. 

When you are proactive about guarding your mind in the ways that I have already outlined, the next thing you need to do is guard your company. Here’s a truth you must embrace: Not everyone belongs in your circle. 

As a leader, you will have many interactions with people within and outside your organization. These are generally tied to your specific duties as a leader. 

But when it comes to your inner circle- the people closest to you by choice- you must guard your company. To be clear, I am not advocating being a snob. I am, however, saying that to protect and guard your attitude, you can’t allow others with poor attitudes into your inner circle, who could potentially drag you down. Your winning attitude is too valuable and must be protected.

Final Thoughts

Possessing a winning attitude takes work, discipline, and determination. It is incumbent upon you to be proactive and wise in your choices. A winning attitude is attainable, but you must guard your thoughts and your company to maintain it.

©2026 Doug Dickerson

 

Who’s In Your Foxhole?

Image Courtesy of Google Photos

In prosperity, our friends know us; in adversity, we know our friends. – John Churtin Collins

Hang around in leadership long enough, and you will know the meaning of adversity. It comes with the territory. And every good leader knows the value of having a close-knit team around you to advance the mission and a healthy culture.

Not long ago, I was reading about the various types of foxholes as described by the infantry training manual. A soldier may find himself under duress, scrambling for cover with no time to prepare. Or if he has time, he can dig in a position only for himself. However, according to the manual, the best-case scenario is an arrangement in which three people can fight together in a single, larger foxhole.

The Army Field Manual explains the efficiency, stating, “One soldier can provide security; one can do priority work; and one can rest, eat, or perform maintenance. This allows the priority of work to be completed more quickly than in a one-soldier or two-soldier position.” 

There is something to be said about building camaraderie among your team that no amount of adversity could stand against. Before you accuse me of being totally naive, I do realize that a statement like this can seem far-fetched in many workplace cultures. I get it.

Before you can determine who belongs in the foxhole with you, I think it’s only fitting to identify those who don’t belong. Here are three, but there are more:

  • The Toxic- These are the manipulators, chronically negative, and pessimistic
  • Control Freaks – In the foxhole, it’s all about the mission of the team, not Lone Rangers
  • Slackers – Those who don’t carry their share of the responsibilities

Building the kind of culture no one would want to leave begins by being the kind of leader everyone wants to follow and be around. Click To TweetThat being said, as a leader, it is incumbent upon you to be developing the leaders around you; the leaders you want to share the foxhole with.

In the foxhole, here are a few of the qualities to look for.

Mission-Focused: From a military perspective, you are trusting the person in the foxhole with you with your life. In your workplace, while it’s not literally life and death, much is riding on your ability to trust one another and know that the person next to you is mission-focused. You want to know that their commitment and passion match yours.

Team Oriented: A cardinal rule of leadership is that it’s not about you. In the foxhole, you have to set aside your ego and not be concerned about who gets the credit for the wins along the way. So long as you are in the foxhole worrying about getting the credit for the wins, your contributions in the foxhole jeopardize the others in it. But when you set aside your ego and focus on the team and the mission, you can achieve great things.

Positive Attitude: Zig Ziglar once said, “Your attitude, not your aptitude, will determine your altitude.” In the foxhole, you want people with a contagious positive attitude. You want people beside you who won’t back down in the face of an obstacle or roadblock. You want people who are resilient with a can-do attitude.

Adaptability: Sometimes in the trenches of your workplace foxhole, things may not always follow your preconceived script. Things happen. It won’t always go the way you had hoped or planned. When you are in the foxhole and under pressure, you want a steady hand from a colleague who won’t be thrown off his game under pressure. You want calm, reliability, and grace under fire. You want someone who can adapt to changing conditions in real time.

So, while this is not an exhaustive list, I trust it will challenge you to think about who you want by your side in your foxhole. More importantly, use this list to self-reflect to see how well you embrace these qualities so that the person beside you can be assured they are in good hands.

 

©2026 Doug Dickerson

In a Well With a Bull Moose: A Lesson in Why We Need Each Other

Credit: AP News

How do you identify someone who needs encouragement? That person is breathing. – S. Truett Cathy

The other week, a bull moose somehow managed to fall into an abandoned well in a forested area of Maine. A team worked for about five hours to free the animal, as initially the landowners thought it may have been a turkey or some other type animal. Upon further inspection, it turned out to be much larger.

The land owners were not even aware of the abandoned well until the discovery of the bull moose. With the animal in distress, they summoned the Maine Department of Inland Fisheries and Wildlife, which sent a biologist to assist the family in the rescue.

Using an excavator provided by the family, the animal was freed from the well, much to the relief of everyone. The family stated that the well has now been capped, preventing any more animals or humans from falling into it. As for the bull moose? Once it was free, it took off running and perhaps had a bruised ego. 

If you hang around in leadership long enough, it’s not too far-fetched to know that sometimes we can end up in situations like the bull moose, or we know someone who is. And when those times come, what is a leader to do? 

Consider these statistics:

  • 56% of leaders experienced burnout in 2024, an increase from 52% in 2023, according to a report by Staffing Industry Analysts
  • 41% of senior leaders are stressed, and 36% are exhausted, per a 2022 Deloitte report
  • 42% of senior leaders attribute the top cause of their stress to their own self-imposed pressure
  • In a Spring Health study, 41% of employees expressed having little confidence in their leaders’ ability to support mental health, leading to a ‘leadership gap”.

Here are some practical considerations and reminders to keep in mind when you find yourself feeling trapped in the proverbial leadership well, along with some steps you can take for yourself or for those around you.

No one is immune to falling into the well

You know as well as I do that no one is immune to falling into the proverbial well from time to time. I have been there many times myself. Seasoned leaders and new ones alike today find themselves challenged like never before, and stress can be a constant friend. The well is a simple reminder that we are on a shared journey.

You are not alone

One of the greatest lies you can believe as a leader is that you are all alone. You may feel like you are stuck or have fallen into a well, feeling alone and unseen. Your struggle may be hard, you may feel overwhelmed, and you may even feel like giving up. But take heart, you are seen, your voice is heard, and you are not alone. You will emerge from this stronger and better equipped than before.

Everyone needs encouragement

We need each other. And everyone needs encouragement. I am thankful for the times when I was in the well, that I had friends who were there to lift me up and out. And I am grateful and humbled by the times I have been there for others in similar situations. 

I am reminded of the words of Stephen Covey, who said, “Through years of study, teaching, and working with people all over the world, from all walks of life, I have determined that leadership is communicating to people their worth and potential in a way that is so clear that they come to see it in themselves.” 

This is one of the clearest mandates for how we ought to communicate with the people and leaders around us. By our words and actions, people should know that we, too, are familiar with life in the well, that they are not alone, they are seen and not judged, and we have their backs.

The late Robin Williams once said, “Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about. Be kind. Always”. This is our commission as leaders.

©2025 Doug Dickerson

Stop Throwing Your Leader Under The Bus

Credit: Google Images

A leader is best when people barely know he exists, when his work is done, his aim fulfilled, they will say: we did it ourselves. – Lao Tzu

I read the story of a young man who applied for a farmhand position. When asked for his qualifications, he told the farmer about his previous experience, then said, “I can sleep when the wind blows.” This puzzled the farmer, but he took a liking to the young man and hired him.

A few months later, the farmer was awakened in the night by a violent storm. He ran outside to ensure that everything was secure. He found the barn doors tightly shut and the shutters closed. The storage shed and machinery were already properly maintained. That was when the farmer realized the significance of the statement, “I can sleep when the wind blows.”

Just as the farmer found the type of worker he needed in the young farmhand, so too do employers need those dependable people within their organizations. They need those who know what to do when the winds blow and the storms rage.

The measure of your value to your organization is in how you treat those in positions ahead of you.

Thriving and successful organizations are so because those in leadership and all within it place a premium value on relationships, communication, trust, clearly defined values and goals, and collaboration, to name a few.

However, when people within the organization undermine the leader, the organization’s health is at stake. And for the sake of context here, I am not talking about incompetent bosses, bullies, and jerks, which is a topic for another day. I am addressing the issue of a leader who, despite being otherwise good, performs poorly.

So what are some of the more common ways leaders are thrown under the bus, and what are the consequences? Let’s explore these four ways.

You throw your leader under the bus when you elevate your agenda ahead of the organization’s agenda.

When you prioritize your personal agenda over the organization’s agenda, you are undermining those in leadership. If you prioritize what’s best for you over what’s best for everyone, then you are only serving your interests. The way to get ahead is not by undermining those in leadership, but by elevating them. When you help your leader succeed, you will succeed.

Leadership Truth: No matter what our circumstances, our greatest limitation isn’t the leader above us-it’s the spirit within us. – John Maxwell

You throw your leader under the bus with whisper campaigns.

It usually sounds something like, “If I were the one in charge…”, or “She’s in way over her head”, and of course, this one, “He’s always playing favorites”.  And from there it takes on a life of its own. Instead of adding value to your leader by “leading up”, many find it easier to throw them under the bus. However, when you realize that your success is tied to your leader’s success, you will begin to view things in a new light. Maybe instead of water cooler whispers, you can try having their back.

Leadership Truth: If you want to get ahead, leading up is much better than kissing up. – Dan Rieland

You throw your leader under the bus when you withhold your best and don’t offer solutions.

When you withhold your best from your leader and don’t offer solutions, you are making the work of your leader harder. You are denying your organization the leverage it needs to move forward. Solutions withheld are progress denied. By not giving your best, offering your best, and being your best, you are more of an obstacle to progress than you are a help. Those in leadership need you at the top of your game, not holding back. They need to see that you are a strong team player.

Leadership Truth: The team with the best players wins. – Jack Welch

You throw your leader under the bus when you are unable to adapt

Flexibility is essential to a thriving workplace culture. So long as you have a “this is the way we’ve always done it” attitude and are unable to make adjustments, then you are throwing your leaders under the bus. When the wind blows and the storms come, you should be able to demonstrate to your leadership that you can sleep in the wind. Let your leadership see that you can adjust your sails and not only adapt to change, but you can lead it.

Leadership Truth: Growth is painful. Change is painful. But nothing is as painful as staying stuck where you do not belong. – N.R. Narrayana

I know this to be true – no one likes being thrown under the bus. We need more people on the bus, and no one left behind.  It’s time to find a better way and lead by example.

©2025 Doug Dickerson

Lessons From an Unassuming Farmer

Credit: Google Images

 

Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world. – Adam Grant

I read a story about a Texas rancher driving through Vermont and had to stop to let a farmer’s cow cross the road. The rancher called out to him as the farmer passed in front of a Cadillac convertible. “How much land you got, partner?”  

“Well,” the farmer said, “my land runs down there to them alders along the brook. On the meadow side over there, it goes clean up to those larches on the hill.”

“You know,” said the rancher, “I got a spread in Texas, and I can get in my pickup and drive all day without reaching any of my boundary lines.”

“That so?” said the farmer. “I had a truck like that once.”

The rancher reminds me of many leaders I have known over the years. They are the “one-uppers” who, for some reason, believe they must one-up all those around them.

Then you have the humble, unassuming farmer who, probably with a twinkle in his eye, brought the prideful rancher down a notch. 

There are some lessons to be learned from the ole farmer and some leadership perspectives to be gained. We should consider these two.

Leadership is not a game of comparisons.

This can be an easy and unhealthy trap for a leader. An aspiring leader might see a prominent leader who packs out speaking events, writes best-selling books, has a great social media following, etc.; the comparison can be overwhelming. 

An old adage says, “Bloom where you’re planted,” and this ought to be your focus as a leader. Your impact will be significant when you commit to your personal growth and development, commit to a strong work ethic, serve others, etc. In other words, focus on growing yourself; everything else will work out.

You have to run your race, not someone else’s race. You have lives to touch with your influence that no one else can touch- even that big-name person you admire from afar. Don’t get caught up with comparisons that don’t matter.

Leadership is not about keeping score. 

This is one of the essential leadership skills that will always serve you well. When you commit yourself to not keeping score, it will elevate you as a leader. The greatest challenge you will face every day as a leader is found in leading yourself. With that being the case, there’s little time left to keep score.

According to John Maxwell, keeping score means competing with others. People keep track of the winners and losers. As John says, “Keeping score is appropriate for games, not relationships.” 

As you lead from the heart and practice kindness, you soon learn that keeping score is petty. Seeking ways to elevate and serve others becomes a priority, and ultimately, your reflection at the end of the day should revolve around how many people you lifted and served to improve their lives. 

There are leadership lessons to be learned all around us. Learning how to make the most of them is what matters. 

 

©2025 Doug Dickerson

For The Sake of Authenticity

authentic: not false or imitation; true to one’s own personality, spirit, or character; made or done the same way as an original – Merriam-Webster Dictionary 

The Merriam-Webster dictionary company has named the word “authentic” as the 2023 word of the year.

In explaining its selection of the word “authentic” Merriam-Webster stated it was “the term for something we’re thinking about, writing about, aspiring to, and judging more than ever.” Additionally, they said, “A high-volume lookup most years, authentic saw a substantial increase in 2023, driven by stories and conversations about AI, celebrity, culture, identity, and social media.” 

The selection of the word “authentic” is somewhat telling in an age when so much of what is taking place around us seems to be far removed from it. Mirriam-Webster cited AI, celebrity, culture, identity, and social media as factors. And why not? With a culture consumed with these things, authenticity is replaced by the fake and the trickle-down effect is widespread.  Before long, it becomes increasingly challenging to distinguish between the two. 

Psychologist Adam Grant states, “Authenticity is not about being unfiltered. It’s about staying true to your principles.” I agree with his assessment. And it’s why as leaders we must set the standard for authenticity. If authenticity is not found in us as leaders, then how can we rightfully complain about what the void is replaced with?

In a study about authenticity in the workplace, a study published in Jobsage found that most people believed that their companies were authentic. But when pressed, more than 3 in 5 said that they were “currently hiding at least one thing about their identity from their employer”.

Key takeaways from the study revealed:

  • Most often, employees hide political views (37%) and information about their families (36%)
  • Over half say not being authentic at work impacts their mental health
  • More than 3 in 5 say that after being authentic they were treated differently at work, most often being treated unkindly or ignored

As leaders, I hope that on all fronts we are modeling what healthy authenticity looks like. Here are a few ways in which we can make it happen.

Define your core values

You can only live out what you believe when you know what you believe. What are your non-negotiables? Your core values are first and foremost an inside job. When your values are clear to you, then you can live them out, but not until then.

Keep it real

Being authentic is a discipline. It’s about being your most real self – not being over the top or over-compensating, but naturally comfortable in your own skin. Authenticity is being “true to one’s own personality”. Authenticity is not about trying to be many things to many people but being the same person to all people. Click To Tweet

Practice honesty and transparency

This is where the rubber meets the road. Your authentic self is revealed more by these two things than anything else. It will make you vulnerable, but isn’t that the essence of authenticity? Being honest and transparent is not for the benefit of those around you – although it matters. It has everything to do with being true to yourself.

Be courageous

There’s nothing more wonderful than embracing your unique authentic self. Be true to it, value it, hold tightly to it, but always remain humble and willing to grow. It doesn’t take much courage to be like everyone else, but to stay true to your values, you must be courageous.

 

Final Thoughts

Writing in Life, the Truth, and Being Free, Steve Maraboli writes, “There is nothing more beautiful than seeing a person being themselves. Imagine going through your day being unapologetically you.” And isn’t that the goal of authenticity?

 

©2023 Doug Dickerson

 

Why Reframing Is Critical To Your Leadership

Credit: Google Images

The frame through which you look at the world may not be the one you picked up on your own. Sometimes people force the frame on you. – Craig Groeschel

In his book, Winning The War In Your Mind, Craig Groeschel writes, “When we reframe what happened in our yesterdays, that changes our todays. We are able to experience life without the old, negative, cognitive bias and start seeing through the lens of God’s grace.” Sounds refreshing, doesn’t it?

The reframing process is essential in your life and in leadership. How you choose to frame the experiences you face in life and in leadership is what separates good leaders from the rest.


It reminds me of the story of the noted English architect Sir Christopher Wren. He was supervising the construction of a magnificent cathedral in London. A journalist thought it would be interesting to interview some of the workers, so he chose three and asked them this question: what are you doing?

The first replied, “I’m cutting stone for 10 shillings a day.” The next person answered, “I’m putting in 10 hours a day on this job.” But the third said, “I’m helping Sir Christopher Wren construct one of London’s greatest cathedrals.”


Each one of those workers saw their work through a particular framework. And the point is, we all do. 

As a leader, how you see your work, the people that you lead, and your prospects for the future is important. This framework is a reflection of your belief system and is an indicator of the direction you are headed. From the three workers, let’s examine the frame of mind of each and the lesson we learn.

The wealth mindset

The first worker saw his contribution solely from the frame of his daily pay. Beyond cutting stone, he seemed to not grasp the enormity of the project he was working on. While there’s no indication that he despised the work or the pay, the tragedy of this mindset runs deeper.

Could it be possible that he undervalued his contributions? If he understood the magnitude of his work and how it would impact the lives of thousands of people, then perhaps his approach to his work would have been different. Perhaps his work would have been more sacred.

Leadership Tip: While a strong work ethic is valuable, your people need to understand the why behind it and the value of their contributions.

The work mindset

The second worker pronounced that he was putting in 10 hours a day. It would be safe to say that he was a hard and dedicated worker. He would be the type you’d want in your organization. His work ethic was one that likely caused him to stand out and catch the eye of the reporter.

While this work ethic is to be applauded, it would seem that he failed to see the big picture or scope of what he was doing. Yes, he was putting in 10 hours a day, but he was part of something greater than himself and it seems to be lost on him. How tragic.

Leadership Tip: Make sure your people know that the long hours they put in are moving the needle towards something great and greater than themselves.

The wisdom mindset

The third worker seemed to have a greater understanding of what was taking place. He knew that he was helping build a great cathedral. I can just hear the excitement and passion in his voice as he spoke to the reporter. 

In any organization, you have some who are there just for the paycheck. You have some who just want to come in, do their work, and go home with little to no regard for what they are doing or why. Those who will truly make a difference in your organization are those who understand why they are there, where they are going, and how great it’s going to be when they get there. Click To Tweet

Leadership Tip: You must always keep the mission and vision before your people. You never want them to be at a loss for what it is that they are doing or why. This can only happen when leaders begin reframing with purpose and clarity.

How would reframing benefit you as a leader and your organization? 

 

©2023 Doug Dickerson

Click here to visit my YouTube channel. Be sure to subscribe while there!

 

What To Do When Things Aren’t Working

Credit: Google Images

Leaders need the courage to acknowledge when something isn’t working. – Mark Batterson

One of the challenges in leadership is having the awareness of knowing when things aren’t working. Acknowledge it too late and you may not recover. But having the ability to see things as they are in real-time with the courage to change can make all the difference between success and failure. This sounds simple enough, but is it?

Take British Airways for example. Profiled in a TinyPulse blog post, they were credited for their ability to change during a difficult transitional time. After a massive merger some years ago, British Airways faced difficultly managing itself and bring a decent service in the aftermath.

The article states, “It wasn’t until its privatization and the incorporation of the new chairperson…that the company started to enjoy positive momentum-and increase their profits accordingly.” British Airways is not alone in its ability to acknowledge when things aren’t working and making the hard decisions to make things right. But not every story has the same outcome.

An article in Collective Campus highlighted 10 companies that failed to innovate resulting in business failure. One of the companies was Polaroid. When the digital camera revolution began, they were behind the curve in adapting to the times. The article states, “Falling into the ‘success trap’ by exploiting only their (historically successful) business activities, Polaroid neglected to explore new territory and enhance their long-term viability.”  And herein lies the challenge in leadership.

Two distinctions emerge when analyzing the differences between the companies who succeeded and those who failed. Here are two key takeaways. 

Companies that succeeded embraced change

The TinyPulse article stated that 70% of change initiatives fail as a result of bad management, poor implementation, or even back luck. But companies with the ability to adapt to change do so because they are thinking long term. 

Companies that failed relied too much on past or current success

Polaroid had a long-standing history dating back to the 1930s. For many decades they had few competitors. But when the digital age arrived they were too slow in adapting and were ultimately left behind. 

Measuring what’s working and what’s not is critical to your success. Here are a few ways to do it.

Evaluate honestly

Many metrics go into how you see your business and your current posture in the marketplace. Be careful not to look at things through rose-colored glasses. Acknowledge the good, identify what’s not working or underperforming, and stay informed. Surround yourself with people who will tell you what you need to hear not just what you want to hear. In the end, what you need to hear is all that matters. Click To Tweet

Know your competition

Many of the referenced businesses that failed did so not because they didn’t have a good product. They failed because they underestimated the competition and the speed of change. By the time they got around to it, it was too late. In addition, don’t look to your competition to set the pace. Make it your mission to be early adopters and set the example for the rest.

Don’t settle

Many of the businesses failed because they relied on past successes to carry them. This is a prescription for disaster. You must constantly be improving and innovating. The work and innovation that got you to where you are today likely won’t be enough to sustain you long term. Click To TweetKeep learning and improving. Be aware of coming trends and position yourself accordingly. In short, never settle for where you are today.

Get to the root causes

It’s important to know what to do when things aren’t working. But more importantly, you need to understand why it isn’t working. You need to know things like how much ground you lost before you made the discovery, what warning signs did you miss, what changes need to be made to keep it from ever happening again, etc. Get to the root causes so that you don’t make the same mistake again. 

Final Thoughts

When things aren’t working it doesn’t mean failure is inevitable, it means a correction is needed. Get out in front of it quick and lead the way.

 

©2021 Doug Dickerson

Check out the Cardinal Point Leadership Podcast

When Saying No is a Good Option

Credit: Google Images

Silence isn’t always agreement. Sometimes people no longer argue because they no longer care. – Joyce Rachelle

I came across some humorous ways to say no not long ago. Whether you are a person who struggles with saying no or one who relishes the opportunity, I think you’ll enjoy these.

‘I think I’ll go find a lake of piranhas to jump in instead”.

“Has hell frozen over? Then, sure”.

“There are worse things to agree to, I just can’t think of any at the moment”.

“I believe there is someone a lot stupider who would enjoy doing that instead”.

“Let’s not. And stick with that story”.

“I had rather remove my own gallbladder with an oyster fork”.

Saying no. It’s one of those paradoxical terms in our leadership vocabulary. If you are like me, you don’t like telling people no. I use to pride myself in saying yes even when deep down I wanted or needed to say no.

Over the years, I have made much progress in learning how to say no. It’s as liberating as it is refreshing. There have been times when I’ve even surprised myself at how effortlessly it rolls off my tongue – No! But it wasn’t always the case.

What about you, do you struggle in this area of your leadership? Do you find it hard to say no without harboring feelings of guilt or worrying that you will disappoint someone?

As leaders, we bend toward the upbeat and positive and being there for people, etc., etc. I get it. But sometimes saying no is the best course of action. So let me help you try and make sense of when it’s a good time to say no without the guilt that comes with it.

No is a good option when the timing is wrong

Timing has a lot to do with saying no. It may be that what you’ve been asked to do is a great idea, but the time frame is wrong. Along the way, in your leadership, you will have to learn how to say no to good ideas. It comes with the territory. Click To Tweet A yes answer may be an option later, but if the timing is wrong, then it’s wrong. Sometimes saying no to something good today can pave the way to saying yes to something greater tomorrow.

No is a good option if the motivations are wrong

There will be times when people will try to get you to commit to something, and not only is the timing wrong, but their motives are wrong. When someone is trying to take advantage of you or is in some way trying to draw you into their drama or negativity just say no!  

No is a good option if your values are in question

In leadership, there are simply no shortcuts when it comes to your ethics, integrity, and values. If any decision you are weighing ever puts those things in doubt then the answer is always no. Roy Disney was right when he said, “When your values are clear to you, making decisions becomes easier”. Saying no is easy when faced with the prospect of compromising your values. Click To Tweet

No is a good option in order to protect your boundaries

At the end of the day, no one is going to protect your boundaries better than you. Finding your work-life balance is on you. You can’t complain about the imbalances in these areas of your life if you don’t know how to say no. Learning how to say no protects your family time, personal time, and professional time. Know when to say no without apology. Click To Tweet

No is a good option simply because you can’t do everything

Regardless of how good you are at what you do, you’re not that great. Neither am I. You are not all things to all people. There are just times when no is in order because you have limitations. Don’t be afraid to embrace your “inner no” voice and own it. You’ll be glad you did.

I’m not advocating saying no just to be contrary or to exhibit a bad attitude or to be less than a team player. I am advocating the reality that at times saying no can be the best course of action for you and it may just be the very thing someone needs to hear.

 

©2019 Doug Dickerson