leadershipmatters – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

A single conversation across the table with a wise man is better than ten years of mere study of books. – Longfellow

One of the most complicated words in most any conversation is the word “fine”. It says nothing, yet says everything if you are picking up on the clues. “Fine” is a complicated word and harder to define.

You ask your spouse, “How are you?”

“Fine.”

That could mean everything is wonderful.

Or, it could mean, “Nothing is wonderful or fine, and if you had half a brain you would know that and you would stop asking.”

Then there is the dangerous leadership version.

The boss asks, “Does everybody understand what we are doing?”

Everyone nods in the affirmative.

“Any questions?”

Silence.

“Great. Let’s get to work.”

Thirty minutes later, three people show up with questions that could have been clarified earlier.

The boss thinks, “I communicated that perfectly”.

The employee thinks, “I have absolutely no idea what he was talking about.”

And therein lies the problem. Talking isn’t necessarily having a conversation. Leadership happens when we move beyond simply giving information and start creating understanding.

As this transpires, three things emerge. Allow me to explain them to you.

Conversations create connection

When, as leaders, we communicate to people rather than with them, we are committing a Leadership 101 mistake. Communication is not about you talking to people and walking away hoping for the best.

Leaders who make time for conversations build trust. And when trust increases, people are more willing to share ideas, admit mistakes, and contribute honestly. Meaningful conversations tell people, “I see you. I value your perspective. What you think matters.”

Leadership Principle: You can’t build strong relationships without meaningful conversations.

Resource: Click this link to read The Leader’s Secret to Connection

Conversations create clarity

Many workplace problems aren’t caused by bad intentions – they are caused by assumptions. One person assumes expectations are understood. Another assumes silence means agreement. Before long, everyone is working from a different version of reality.

Good leaders use conversations to clarify expectations, address misunderstandings early, give feedback, and make sure everyone knows where they are going and why.

Leadership Principle: What leaders leave unspoken often gets filled with assumptions.

Resource: Click the link to read Why Clarity Matters in Your Leadership

Conversations create community

A group of people can work on the same team, attend the same meetings, and pursue the same goals – and still never become a community.

Community is created when people move beyond simply working beside one another and begin knowing one another. And one of the primary ways is through conversations.

Leadership Principle: Leaders who make time for conversations aren’t wasting time. They’re building relational infrastructure that holds the organization together.

Have you had a meaningful conversation today?

Resource: Click the link to read Building Community in Leadership

Authenticity means erasing the gap between what you firmly believe inside and what you reveal to the outside world. – Adam Grant

I read a story about a Texas rancher driving through Vermont and had to stop to let a farmer’s cow cross the road. The rancher called out to him as the farmer passed in front of a Cadillac convertible. “How much land you got, partner?”

“Well,” the farmer said, “my land runs down there to them alders along the brook. On the meadow side over there, it goes clean up to those larches on the hill.”

“You know,” said the rancher, “I got a spread in Texas, and I can get in my pickup and drive all day without reaching any of my boundary lines.”

“That so?” said the farmer. “I had a truck like that once.”

The rancher reminds me of many leaders I have known over the years. They are the “one-uppers” who, for some reason, believe they must one-up all those around them.

Then you have the humble, unassuming farmer who, probably with a twinkle in his eye, brought the prideful rancher down a notch.

There are some lessons to be learned from the ole farmer and some leadership perspectives to be gained. We should consider these two.

Leadership is not a game of comparisons.

This can be an easy and unhealthy trap for a leader. An aspiring leader might see a prominent leader who packs out speaking events, writes best-selling books, has a great social media following, etc.; the comparison can be overwhelming.

An old adage says, “Bloom where you’re planted,” and this ought to be your focus as a leader. Your impact will be significant when you commit to your personal growth and development, commit to a strong work ethic, serve others, etc. In other words, focus on growing yourself; everything else will work out.

You have to run your race, not someone else’s race. You have lives to touch with your influence that no one else can touch- even that big-name person you admire from afar. Don’t get caught up with comparisons that don’t matter.

Leadership is not about keeping score.

This is one of the essential leadership skills that will always serve you well. When you commit yourself to not keeping score, it will elevate you as a leader. The greatest challenge you will face every day as a leader is found in leading yourself. With that being the case, there’s little time left to keep score.

According to John Maxwell, keeping score means competing with others. People keep track of the winners and losers. As John says, “Keeping score is appropriate for games, not relationships.”

As you lead from the heart and practice kindness, you soon learn that keeping score is petty. Seeking ways to elevate and serve others becomes a priority, and ultimately, your reflection at the end of the day should revolve around how many people you lifted and served to improve their lives.

There are leadership lessons to be learned all around us. Learning how to make the most of them is what matters.

Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Tag: leadershipmatters

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Lessons From an Unassuming Farmer