vulnerability – Doug Dickerson on Leadership

The world breaks everyone, and afterward, many are strong at the broken places. – Ernest Hemingway,

As one of our most popular and most consequential presidents, Abraham Lincoln led the United States through one of the darkest times in American History. The Civil War weighed heavily upon Lincoln as he carried the burden of preserving the Union and ending slavery.

Lincoln struggled deeply with depression. Friends described seasons where he could barely function. He openly wept. After the death of his son Willie in 1862, he was shattered. Witnesses said he sobbed uncontrollably and would visit the crypt alone.

Unlike many leaders who hide their brokenness, Lincoln didn’t pretend invincibility. He spoke openly about his sadness, told stories that revealed his inner turmoil, and led with humility rather than bravado. In one letter, he confessed, “I am now the most miserable man living.”

Craig Groeschel said, “ You can’t heal from a wound you ignore. It may feel hard, but don’t be afraid to be transparent and vulnerable. Asking for help isn’t a sign of weakness. It’s a sign of wisdom.” And this is the challenge we find ourselves in at our broken places.

Research published on Calm.com (https://tinyurl.com/4cnmbbzf ) offers telling insights into the state of mind of American executives. Here are some key findings:

While nearly nine in 10 executives (87%) report their mental/emotional health as “good” or better, almost half (48%) acknowledge feeling overwhelmed, and about a quarter (24%) report leadership stress showing up as anxiety or depression.
50% say they have considered stepping down from their leadership role, while two-in-three have considered a career change and taking a sabbatical.
Only one in four reports their “mental battery” is fully charged.
42% say they actively shield their teams from their stresses.
Executives identify two unique leadership pressures as the predominant stress drivers: responsibility for others’ livelihoods (63%) and a sense of having “no off switch” (54%).

While many leaders actively shield their teams from their stresses, what else could they be shielding? The broken places will never heal so long as they remain cloaked in a false sense of bravery and duty to the detriment of one’s own mental health and well-being.

Circling back to Lincoln, here are a few observations that you might find useful as you consider your own broken places in your leadership.

His emotional honesty deepened his moral clarity

Coming to terms with the struggles and challenges you face in your leadership is not a sign of weakness, but, as Craig Groeschel said, a sign of wisdom. Being vulnerable and honest opens the door for a new level of your leadership to emerge.

For Lincoln, moral clarity was heightened not in covering up his struggles but by embracing them. Moral clarity was forged in heartache and tears. This type of vulnerability doesn’t diminish your leadership; it solidifies it.

Think about your broken places. In what ways are you allowing those vulnerable places to forge the leader in you and give you a greater sense of moral clarity?

His vulnerability did not weaken his authority- it strengthened it

Many leaders make the mistake of believing that their vulnerability will cause them to lose credibility and standing among their peers or team. They simply do not see how the risk could be worth it.

For Lincoln, who endured unimaginable responsibilities of national importance alongside great personal loss, it was his pathway to his own healing and that of the nation. Neither came easily, and both with great cost. But his leadership authority was defined by both.

Here is what I know: leaders today are overwhelmed and stressed like never before. Many are suffering in silence, smiling as they go about their days. Some are ready to throw in the towel and call it quits.

Here is my message to you: You are not alone. It’s OKAY to not be OKAY. Your broken places are stepping stones to take your leadership to the next level. And, it’s OKAY to ask for help. We are not meant to do this alone. We are stronger together.

I found that the more truthful and vulnerable I was, the more empowering it was for me. – Alanis Morissette

A word about being vulnerable

I read where Will Rogers’ stage specialty used to be rope tricks. One day, on stage, in the middle of his act, he got tangled in his lariat. Instead of getting upset, he drawled, “A rope ain’t so bad to get tangled up in if it ain’t around your neck.” The audience roared. Encouraged by the warm reception, Rogers began adding humorous comments to all his performances. It was the comments, not the rope tricks, that eventually made him famous.

As leaders, we tend to get ourselves into predicaments that are hard to escape precisely due to our obsession with protecting our image. Our greatest leadership strength can be found not in faking perfection but in embracing our own vulnerabilities.

Think for a moment about how different your leadership would look if you dropped the pretense of perfection and having all of the answers in exchange for authentic leadership. Imagine how different your life would be.

Allow me to explore a few ways in which being vulnerable can strengthen your leadership and why it matters.

Vulnerability empowers you as a leader

Think for a moment about the qualities you look for most of the leaders in your life. Melanie Curtin identified the top four qualities that millennials are looking for in an article for Inc. The top four qualities were mentoring, a gentle spirit, authenticity, and integrity,

All four of those qualities are essential to good leadership. When a leader is vulnerable these qualities will shine through. After all, how can you be an authentic leadership without being vulnerable?

If you want to gain respect and earn the trust of the people you lead, you will have to drop the mask and forget about the glittering image and get real.

Vulnerability puts the humanity into your leadership

Some of the most impactful lessons I have learned in leadership over the years from my mentors were not the great success stories they shared. It was the stories of their defeats, failures, and setbacks that inspired me. Why? Because they failed? No. It was inspiring because it allowed me to see them as human and that if they can fail, recover, and succeed then I could as well. It built my confidence.

Being vulnerable as a leader doesn’t mean that you make excuses for your failures or that you lower the bar on your goals or aspirations. Being vulnerable means that you allow your people to see the good, the bad, and the ugly, and still be inspired by your leadership.

Vulnerability creates connections in your leadership

Vulnerability opens up a whole new realm of leadership for you that just doesn’t come any other way. So long as you are guarded, distant, and protecting your image, then your people will always be made to feel they can never measure up to your example- or at least make it feel it’s out of their reach.

Vulnerability creates connections and builds bridges with your people that will open up doors and relationships that could not happen otherwise.

If you want to grow your influence as a leader then it’s time to be real, time to be genuine, and time to be vulnerable. Most people can spot a phony a long way off.

Vulnerability quotes

“Vulnerability is the birthplace of innovation, creativity, and change.” – Brene’ Brown

“We are at our most powerful the moment the moment we no longer need to be powerful.” – Eric Micha’el Leventhal

“Developing people by investing in them doesn’t mean pretending you have all the answers.” – John Maxwell

“Getting in touch with your true self must be your first priority.” – Tom Hopkins

A final word

Vulnerability in leadership is essential to good leadership. It’s not an expression of weakness, it’s an expression of being empowered as a leader and comfortable in your own skin. Embrace being vulnerable and watch your influence grow.

Doug Dickerson on Leadership

Tag: vulnerability

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